just beginning

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Lord knows how long ago I set this up...and didn't follow up, just kept the blogs going on myspace and other places, but here I am.

I've been invited to join a blog about women over 40...so nice to be asked! but hell, I'm over 60 or will be in a few weeks...and when I think about 40. I had a two year old and an 18 year old...in a marriage of convenience because I'd been there done that on raising a child alone and just wanted to give my son a dad. Lost my mom while I was carrying him, so hope she knew I was going to have my blonde haired boy...

life at 40 was not what I had planned!

I thought my darling daughter would be in college and I'd stay in hotel management and finally work towards retiring...and here I am...scraping up house payments and flat ass broke...but then the stock market tanked, and I know those that did save up, bought that home that's upside down in value now and really have not much more, so who is to say? I guess I could have stayed married...but now I wake up without tears. Everything has it's up points.

and there's that boy...a man now, in the Navy...a war vet...at 23...and out of the military and coming home in the summer....how could I ever in my life have ever lived my life without those two kids?

Comments

DesignTime said…
A couple of years ago when my second marriage crashed and burned, me holding yet another list of faults that justified my decision to walk, no, run away, I felt as if I had fallen off my life somehow. Then my "secure" job was yanked out from under me and had it not been for the concern and encouragement of a good friend, I would not have had the courage to start my own marketing business. Walking in a forward motion is never easy. it seems we tend to want to zig and zag to find whatever comforts we can along the way. I guess now the answers lie in our ability to focus and not lose hope that something good is just around the corner. I think it is.
February 17, 2009 at 9:29 AM
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