My Mom's Hands

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I have my mother's hands....that's not a bad thing in itself, her hands were so gentle, so cool, so calming when she touched us....the hands of a mom, a nurse, a loving human being....but as she aged and as I have aged, the arthritis has made them its own.

We have other similarities, especially as I age...because of course, I remember her best in her aging years....my skin, and how frail it is becoming, my cardiac issues that she had as well, although without near the medical expertise that I have available to me today....and being estranged from a child, or in her case, two...how that must have broken her heart, so glad she had my younger brother and his kids as well as my daughter and me to know she was loved and needed. She adored her grandkids, even the one she wasn't allowed to know very well. I have a photo of her when he came to visit one time with his father, she is just beaming! Niece Holly was young and curious about this cousin, and my nephew looked a little overwhelmed. I don't know that Mom ever saw him again after that day.

But her hands...that's what today I thought about as I look at my own. My niece was here not long ago and grabbed them up and said "Aunt Karen, your hands, just like Grandma's!"...I hope hers are not the same...altho her touch was as cool and gentle as my mom's. That nurse thing, I guess. One of the last times I saw my daughter she commented that her hands are just like mine...I didn't think so, she didn't have the veins on the back of them like I have always had...but mainly I hope she's wrong so she doesn't have this arthritic pain in her life every day. Compared to some, this arthritis is not so bad, my hands, a little in the neck, one hip starting to get wonky...I have friends with RA that suffer so much more, I'm thankful I'm able to work to take of myself for now.

Think it just comes down today to the fact that I miss my mother so much. She'd have good thoughts on dealing with this family stuff and she would be over the moon ecstatic about Matt's upcoming wedding! She never got to hold her last grandchild, and she would have adored him so....she loved all her grandkids, but boy, those little blonde boys flat stole her heart!!  He has her brains...and he met and fell in love with a woman as smart as he is. Helps that she's gorgeous and we'll have more of those little blonde grandkids running around!

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