Fair words...plain talk....

Wednesday, October 03, 2007 It’s the eyes... It's late, I should be asleep... but I remember my brother, the Marine...when my dad died...my brother Tack was already gone to off to California to basic...and the scenes of my childhood kinda wander, not sure whether it was before Daddy died or after...I was only 6 years old, Dad died on my brother's first birthday...but anyway...I remember standing in our front yard, and Tack coming strolling across the field from the highway where he'd gotton out of the last car on his hitch home...and my mom's face and being so happy, just happy to have him home. My mother's face...pure joy, all her children home. I'm thinking about Tack because even as a little kid, I could see the chamges that the Marines and the military made in my big brother...the way he held his head, the discipline of his posture, the cut of his chin...and the look in his eyes. I see that same look in his nephew's eyes as I toured his myspace pics yest...

Sunday, April 29, 2007 my nephew So Leland asked if he was in my blog....and he should be....his life and its changes have been life changing for me and my family. I was sitting at my computer, just like tonight, and the phone call came from Darcie...mom, it's leland...and right now is just like right then, I can feel it just like then...the horror, the gut twisting pain of not knowing what I was going to hear next....and altho he was alive, it was not good. Narrow county roads in the middle of south Texas cotton fields....kids fresh from a win at a basketball game....omygod he had just dropped several off....so just Rene' and Leland...flying home in that old car...and that stop sign. What stop sign? it was there, and he must have ran it....and that truck was going 70mph when it hit that old car, with Rene' riding shotgun. And Rene' was gone. And Leland is always 16. Just like that night. Just like that. Even tho it was over a decade ago.... He was a beautiful baby...th...

Tuesday, May 01, 2007 those kids... Those kids...when I think of that time in ICU, and that waiting room, I can see those kids, those tall lanky guys, the sweet, sweet girls...lining the hallway from the double doors by the elevators...up and down each side, watching us. Watching for any clue as to how Leland was...how bad, how good, just how...talking quietly among themselves, crosslegged on the floor... hunched over books... coming up to elaine for a hug and reassurance...that Elaine...how she has grown, she was just a small sweet girl when I first met her, now she's Leland's mom...and those kids just reached for her and she pulled her strength from them so many times, they just didn't know...they just waited...with us. Waiting for the door to open and Rene' to walk in laughing his ass off cuz he fooled us all...waiting for Leland to climb out of that bed and give that shy smile....waiting for it to not be true. Just not true. So I went out and bought note books and s...

a different way of life began...home in Austin for a day or so...then back to Corpus....then home to Austin and scout meetings with Matt ... did you do your homework ? and back to CC...in ICU the little miracles...a hand squeezed when you said his name...his head turning towards a voice...Leland was there, in that brain, we just knew...but the nurses would tell us no...it's just a base response, he doesn't hear you but they were wrong. When Leland was little, we'd sing a lot ....you are my sunshine ... right up there with yertle the turtle to him..and we kept hearing he was like a baby...so we went there....singing to him, keeping the music on, hearing the voices he loved...and some he didn't even know, like the DJs on CC radio ...it's 8am and time for Leland Webb to wake up ... bless them, every morning for weeks! so one day, Gary, his step dad was visiting...working so hard to keep the bills paid, he didn't get as much time by leland's bed side as he woul...

Thursday, May 03, 2007 sam and zach and leland and yeah, there's more...it is an ongoing thing...especially for Elaine, Gary, Cody and Leland...and I'm still writing about just that first year....to CC back to Austin....stop at the rest stop on the way home.....right before Skidmore...just a jut in the road....and cry. Just cry. until it stopped. Then to Skidmore Dairy Queen....wash my face, pick up a soda....and watch those women watching me, I can just hear that conversation after I left....that woman needs to leave that sob... they were so kind to me. I was there a couple of times a week for at least a year swollen eyes and all...and really, the shower is the best place for those kind of tears....then nobody knows. Back to Austin, and being Matt's mom...sometimes my little Samantha would come along...she was only about 3.. before the accident, she called Leland "boy"....BOY! she'd say....fix it! or BOY! turn on the light..and he'd hop to it, easy to ado...

rambling... I really miss Matt. I mean, I miss him cuz he's my son, and he's moving off into his life, and that's what and how he was raised...and all that is good...but the Spurs are playing in the playoffs...and I really miss Matt. I really miss Ady,too...at this point in this Spurs game we should be on the phone screamin' about what the hell is going on with these guys? did they show up to play or just screw around? And she'd be pretty disgusted with Horry, even if he isn't a Laker anymore...altho, she'd agree with me that he was just frustrated...and after all it was just a shoulder, he didn't go for Nash's head...and normally, boomer is the SpurDog...but he's gettin on, and sleeping thru most of it..altho he did start singing on his own a while ago...just knew his Spurs needed the help... Ady would be on the phone..that dog howling yet? I look up on the wall over there and see her smile and that curly red head, and I miss my friend. Linda ...

Boomer’s at the bridge... Looking back, I'm amazed by how well he hid his blindness...I knew he was losing his sight, the glaucoma was obvious. But he knew this house so well, he could walk anywhere surefooted. I came home from work on Sunday night...he was on the big shag rug he loved by my desk...and I bent to give him his pet...he was sound asleep..he woke...and he had no idea where he was, he was so disoriented, stood up...waiting. So I reached over and typed the keyboard...he knew where he was, gave him a sound que.. and he turned to go to the door to go outdoors. His hips were gone, the pain meds were a necessity, the pain meds tore up his stomach, causing more pain...it was time. Even in his pain, if I so much a choked up as I faced this final stage of our time together, he would rise and come to me. It's okay, I'm here. I going to take care of you. But this time it was time for me to take care of him. I'm going to fix this, Boomer. He slept that night in a pile ...